BEGINNER TIPS FOR CYCLING UP MOUNTAINS! The Fat Man Climbs the French Alps!

Going up La Toussuire, past a village still decorated for the Tour de France

One of the many challenges about writing a blog is coming up with an informative Title with a nice hook. For this specific blog post, there were many other Working Titles I considered using. There was the cautionary "Learn From my Mistakes", the factual "First Impressions of a Flatlander", the challenging "Finding Heaven and Hell on the Alps" and my favorite "Fear and Loathing in La Toussuire".  I settled on the "Fat Man Climbs the French Alps" because VeloDiet is about bettering yourself by riding a bicycle, and I could've never imagined that a 310lbs (140kg) couch potato would be climbing the toughest mountain roads after a few years of riding a bike!

The view from the top of the Col du Galibier!
At 2642 meters of elevation, it's literally breathtaking!

Earlier this summer, I travelled to France to meet a few good cycling friends and tackle some of the most epic climbs in the world during the Tour de France. Now, I must admit that I am no expert climber, but before embarking on this journey, I did lots of research on the climbing techniques and then proceeded to do many mistakes in testing such techniques during the trip. So the tips below are based on solid research online, but tempered with much sweat and tears on the road! (Note: if the tips get too technical and boring, feel free to scroll down and just enjoy the pictures!)

Amidst the pain, so much beauty!

TIP: PACE YOURSELF! This is by far the biggest rule for climbing any hills of considerable length. The key is to find a steady pace that you can keep throughout the entire climb and not go too fast in the beginning of the hill. The point is that if you start too fast, you might go into the "red zone" and never be able to recover, because the road will keep going up and up and up...Now, this is repeated in pretty much every piece of literature on climbing, and still, on the first kilometer of the 27km, I got off the saddle and attacked the climb with all my might. About 3 kilometers later, I was laying down on the side of the road contemplating if I could even get to the top. So, really, pace yourself!!!

One of the 21 switchbacks on the Alpe d'Huez!

TIP: WATCH YOUR POSTURE! Experts agree that the best posture to keep while climbing is to stay seated, with your hands on the top of the handlebar, and your back flattened to allow for easier breathing. You should stand on the pedals from time to time when the road get steeper, or to just shift your position and engage other muscles. Standing on your pedals though, does generate more power and accordingly, uses more energy. So be cautious in finding the right balance, and when in  doubt, stay seated!

Recovery Meal - a Large Pizza for me and a Large Pizza for you!

TIP: FOOD AND DRINK! Proper nutrition is crucial on any long distance bike ride, but it's even a bigger deal when you will be spending two hours continuously going uphill. You should have a good pre-ride meal (a couple of hours before hitting the climb) and eat a snack about 20 mins or so before things get serious. But for me, drinking was a constant concern - well above eating, my body was constantly craving hydration. One tricky aspect of riding up the steep grades, is that it is physically very difficult to reach for the bottle or a snack and stay within your rhythm. So I always looked for spots where the slopes would ease off to re-fuel. It is also worth noting that after a day of climbing on the bike, you will be so incredibly hungry, you will eat a tremendous amount of food and still lose weight in the process (a fat man's dream, I suppose!)

Going up the Galibier - too high for trees!

TIP: BREATHE! It may sound obvious, but you must keep breathing. When you find your rhythm and fall into the hypnotic motion of the continuous pedaling, you might lose focus and forget to take in as much air as you possibly can. It's also worth noting that you should try to stay relaxed (as much as possible, anyways) in order to conserve energy. I found that looking at the scenery from time to time gave my mind enough of a break that it would allow me to take a deep breath and let my body relax. Luckily for me, the scenery was always amazingly beautiful.

Breathe, relax and try to enjoy the nature around you!

TIP: DRESS APPROPRIATELY! Going up the Glandon, we encountered very hot conditions at the base. Once you start climbing and your exertion takes hold, you will start sweating tremendously. I have never been so hot in my life. Two hours later, as we were preparing to descend the mountain, the weather changed dramatically (as it can normally do in the mountains) and we had to come down during a cold rain storm in frigid temperatures. I have never been so cold in my life - and this was during the hottest time of the year! So, make sure you are carrying an extra layer, some arm warmers, etc. And, if push comes to shove, you can use a newspaper or map as a base layer (it works!)

Watching the Tour de France goes by.
All I am going to say is: bring your sun lotion!

TIP: GET YOUR BIKE READY! It is very important to make sure your bike is prepared for these types of rides. The descents from these mountains are truly terrifying, and you must be fully confident on your bike in order to enjoy the experience fully. Perform a thorough check-up on the bike frame, tires and make sure your brake pads are adequate (or take extra ones with you). Also, make sure you take the right bike gears with you. (WARNING : boring technical stuff alert!) Although most bikes come stocked with a compact crankset and a large cassette (in other words, an easy gear that allows you to spin the pedals easily going up hill), make sure your bike has the right gears to keep you pedaling comfortably uphill. Another BIG mistake I made was to take my standard crankset and a regular cassette (in other words, the wrong gears). I was able to get to the top of every mountain, but I was hammering a really heavy gear with a very slow cadence (with my 39/28 gear, I avg'd a 59 cadence going up the Galibier). My knees survived, but I am definitely using a compact crankset next time!



The Galibier does not belive in Guardrails!

TIP: KNOW THY HILLS! Do your research on each mountain you plan on riding up. How long, how steep, where is it hardest, and does it flatten out at any point. Find some landmarks so you can be aware of your progress. Knowing that there are 21 switchbacks going up the Alpe d'Huez which are clearly marked, and that it is very steep for the first 6 switchbacks before easing off, made the experience much more enjoyable (and manageable). Just beware of the average grades on the Profiles you find online - I found them to be woefully misleading (the mountains are much steeper than advertised!)

 

A reward awaits at a local French Boulangerie!

TIP: YOU CAN DO IT! A big part of cycling up mountains is the mental aspect. First and foremost, training before you arrive in France is essential. But if you have some experience on the bike and know how to find a pace that will enable you to ride around town for a few hours, you can do it. The goal should be to make it to the top while enjoying the experience as much as possible, and not concentrating on how long it took or how fast you rode up. Remember that you are riding "cycling sacred grounds", surrounded by some of the most beautiful nature in the world. Relax, take a break, and enjoy the experience. You will also see many fellow cyclists going up the mountain, some in better shape, but some struggling more than you. I found that being part of the camaraderie of cyclists who are challenging the mountains incredibly encouraging.

Yes, this cyclist is pulling a kid's trailer up a mountain!

During the few days spent riding up the Alps, I encountered cyclists of all ages, sizes and shapes. From kids riding up the Alpe D'Huez a few hours before the Tour de France pro's, to babies being pulled along in their strollers, to older couples on tandem bikes. From super fit cyclist flying uphill to novice riders slowly fighting for every meter. Still, we were all in this together. And I am sure that we will all share the addictive feeling of accomplishment, standing at the top of those epic mountains, where the world is at its most beautiful, knowing that you've climbed all the way up on a simple bicycle, using nothing but your body to beat the Alps. And when we are done, we know that we'll have to go back!

No bigger sense of accomplishment on a bike than conquering
these epic mountains (Alpe d'Huez and Col du Galibier)

TOP 9 REASONS CYCLISTS ARE WEIRD - It goes well beyond shaved legs and lycra!

After being part of the cycling culture for over 6 years, I can admit we are a weird bunch. It may be obvious to those who have ever seen a group of cyclist come into a coffee shop wearing tight lycra outfits, shaved legs and what sounds like tap-shoes, but I am afraid it's even worse than that. Here is a list of some of the weirdest things about cyclists:

Reason #1 and #7 - View from the top of the Col du Galibier! 
Beautiful, for all the wrong reasons!

#1 - PAIN IS GOOD! - This is probably a fundamental truth for a cyclist. Pain is a good thing - we desire it, we crave it, we will ride out bikes the long way home just so we can go up that extra hill. We will smile about how we almost passed out trying to climb a mountain as fast as we could, and deep inside we know we could, and should, go even faster next time. When we have to go for an easy ride, it's almost like a chore: "I have to go for an easy 60km ride today so my legs can rest". 

#2 - SO SKINNY - If you ever see a bunch of really skinny people who somehow look really healthy and are devouring an entire pizza (each), chances are you've spotted cyclists. This is taken to extremes when you see professional cyclists, who are obsessed with their body weight so much, that they start to look like aliens! When you see photographs of professional cyclists after a very hard race, it's hard to distinguish if they are pictures of bike racers or p.o.w.'s ( see "paris-roubaix showers")

#3 - IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BIKE - Ask our wives or loved ones and they will be very quick to tell you that our obsession with our machines is simply unhealthy. It's not only the time we spend riding it, but also the time we spend washing it, tuning it, or simply just staring at it. But no matter how deep our emotional connection runs with our bikes, we know they are not perfect. We know we can always spend a little more money to make our bikes faster, lighter, more aerodynamic, or just better looking - and I am sure our loved ones appreciate that as well!

Reasons #3, #6 and #9 - this meme says it all!

#4 - COFFEE AND BEER, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED! Coffee before and during a bike ride, followed by post-ride recovery beers. It's as traditional as those funny cycling caps. And given our natural desire to obsess over anything related to cycling, our knowledge of those beverages runs deep! Knowing that only a macchiato or an espresso is acceptable during bike rides is as essential as knowing the location of the best IPA dispensary nearby. 

#5 - LOVE THY NEIGHBOR'S BIKE - My wife no longer worries when I lose focus during a conversation as my eyes stray away to a passer by behind her. She knows that I have spotted a beautiful sexy bike and need to admire it before its is ridden out of my field of vision. And she knows to avoid going near any bike-shop with me, as a "let me just take a quick look" will turn into a lot of time admiring the new 2015 Canyon Aeroad CF SLX, or any other beauty that just arrived in the shop!

#6 - TAN LINES - Probably the biggest badge of honor a cyclist can display is high-contrast, razor-sharp tan lines! Although they are highly undesirable for anyone else, cyclists work on the craft of creating an maintaining their tan-lines throughout the summer months as an indication of how hard they have been training. When I returned from a recent trip to the French Alpes (more on that later), my daughter looked at my leg and proclaimed: "Dad, you leg looks like the Polish Flag!" I was so proud!

Reason #6 - Meticulously maintained tan line!

#7 - THE PERFECT VACATION - For most people, the perfect vacation involves laying down on a warm sandy beach sipping on their favorite beverage for hours while they forget the hardships of life. For cyclists, the perfect vacation involves riding their bike up 25km's long mountains roads for days so they can enjoy the hardships of their bikes! But there are many similarities as both vacations will include incredible scenery and an enormous amount of food!

#8 - FOLLOW THE RULES - For a sport that is supposed to be all about "freedom", cycling is bound by a myriad of rules and etiquette we must follow. Of course, many "rules" are there just to insure everyone is safe, but our rules also include many details, such as how your wheels should be positioned when you photograph your bike, the length of your socks, how to blow your nose, etc. Cyclists even have a webpage devoted to said rules here. But really, all you should worry about is here: The Rules!

#9 - WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT - If you have any friends, relatives or loved ones who are cyclists, you know very well that they can't be part of any conversation that does not revolve around cycling. And if you are able to trap a cyclist into any other topic, you can be sure he/she will quickly bring the subject back to bikes within 4 sentences or less. The reason is simple: if we are not riding our bikes, we are thinking about riding our bikes. Life is too short to talk about anything else, really.

I know there were many generalizations made above, but keep in mind that the list is just for fun; but if you disagree with any of the reasons above or think I forgot another gem from our culture, please leave a comment below!